My name is Kimberly and when I was soon to become a new mom, I had previously been well coached about how much sleep I would lose the first couple of months. I wasn’t even worried about it at first. The women in my family tended to be big time drama queens and, in my mind, it was highly likely that they were just spewing out a worse case scenario child, not one that I would ever have. I was of course completely enthralled with the idea that after two years of trying to conceive, now…this year, I was FINALLY going to have the new, precious angel baby I had been praying for. My husband and I were in the threshes of enjoying the life we had so desperately hoped for and dreamed of. The sky was soon to be the limit for our little, loving family of three. For all I thought, I would be so incredibly in love with my new bundle of joy, I would be too busy staying up all night just staring at him to even require sleep.
Fast forward six months post delivery and man do I have a story to tell!
I am completely drained, mindless even. I might as well have been a zombie or dead, now that I think back on it, because I feel utterly empty and am so energy deprived, each day has become a blur and each night just melts in to the next. I hardly could tell time, I feel so terrible mentally and physically and completely not my happy, peppy self. By this point, I hardly know who I am and am sad to admit, not in the least bit happy. I became depressed and with that, I felt guilty for feeling depressed when I had just recently been given life’s most wonderful gift. I didn’t want to be ungrateful, but I was in over my head tired!
My husband and I had begun to fight like we were mortal enemies, the house stood like we were slobs, nothing really got taken care of and I generally began to not want to do anything or go anywhere, much less ever have company. I’d become a hermit. If you knew me before baby, this was drastic and extreme and the equivalent of the sun being cold. It just was an impossibility.
I was at my wits end. I couldn’t believe how much life had changed. My husband did what he could to help with the baby each sleepless night but to give him credit, he worked two jobs to keep us afloat while I held down the fort at home. He too had become backed into a corner in his own way with having to afford our bills, help with the baby and all the while bicker with me endlessly until the day's end. I can’t really blame him for much. We were simply put, both overwhelmingly stressed.
Through all of this, I remain in love with my baby boy. Brayden is the love of my life and still the best thing that has ever happened to us. He is cute and precious and everything any parent would boast over. But this sweetie of ours had to be the worst sleeper known to man! I would have never in a million years guessed it would be so hard to raise a child! The days were fine, but the dreadful nights were really something to reckon with. I couldn’t stand them! Brayden woke up repeatedly no matter what I did, my husband did, whether we co slept, whether we put him to bed in his own room, swaddled him, rocked or sang, nothing worked! I was completely convinced that he was born an uneasy child and would always just have a more difficult time getting to sleep than others.
I loved my baby no matter what struggle he brought to the table and I was so convinced that I needed to carry on in this manner no matter my sacrifice. He’s my baby, my responsibility.
It’s a peculiar thing what a momma will do for her child, you know. A mother’s love is undoubtedly unstoppable. I would have gone a full year, two or more in that terrible state if I had to, just to make sure that my darling son was cared for and that he felt loved and comfortable. His sleep seemed more important than mine and as long as his needs were met then I felt that I was doing a good job, my well being be damned.
Now I wish this had happened to me earlier but maybe everything happens for a reason??.. I’m not sure about that but regardless, three days after having yet another blow out argument with my husband and still on no speaking terms with him, my friend Jessica calls me. “Kimberly, can you do me a favor? I know you’ve got a lot going on but please, I could really use your help.” That’s perfect….just what I feel up to doing, I thought.
“Please, would you mind watching Kaylee on Monday? You know I would never ask you to do this if I didn’t really need it but I’ve got an interview and my babysitter can't do it.”
Being the absent friend I’d been as of late, I couldn’t in my good conscience refuse and that following Monday with Brayden in tow, we showed up and spent our morning playing with her wide eyed, loud and rambunctious three year old.
In the midst of the morning, Kaylee mentions that she wants to watch Finding Nemo, so as I get her set up and tend to Brayden’s lunch, I sit down by the bookcase to breastfeed and browse over Jessica's book collection.. “Home and Garden,” A Cookbook, “How To Repair Any Relationship,” “Goodnight Moon,” “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” “Baby Sleep Miracle…” Waaaaiit....What was that one?? Baby Sleep Miracle, huh? Oh. What is this about?! That sounds helpful…I glance over the back cover…
By noon the following day, I had consumed every word of that book. Jessica was kind to let me borrow it and I had absorbed every word of it despite the mere four hours of sleep I had the previous night. Desperation is an amazing pull factor! I had already read probably a hundred forums online previously about what to do to fix my child’s sleep but what I had just finished was not any of that. I felt convinced that, holy crap, I think I can try that tonight and that might work!
Would you know that, no it did not work the first night or even the second night but that three days later, we were beginning to see a big and hopeful change in Brayden?!… A light at the end of the tunnel! Brayden went a stretch of 5 hours and then another 6 after a quick nighttime feed. Do you know what it’s like for a momma who has felt that she hadn’t had real shut eye in a year to actually get to sleep and wake up feeling like she went through an entire sleep cycle?? Yes, mind blown! That was me, yes me, who had just nearly succumbed to total body shut down due to exhaustion.
The next day, even better! What in the world? A week later, my terrible napper and nighttime sleeper was like another baby entirely! I had tried out what the book taught me and Brayden seemingly morphed into a dream sleeper within two weeks time.
I could not believe what had happened! More importantly, my biggest thought was how could Jessica not even have bothered to bring this book up to me…. What kind of friend….?!
So here I am now, so in love and so impassioned with a simple book that changed my life, I have become completely propelled with the need to spread the word of it. My friend had the answer to my problem all along and didn’t share it with me! At the least, I feel encouraged to be a good momma friend and share my experience and my revelation with the book that turned my night's around to mommas who are hurting like I was.
I can only assume that if you have found yourself here than you too must be searching for answers. The good news is that I whole heartedly believe that you have landed on the perfect solution. You too can overcome your baby’s sleep struggle with the right information.
Perhaps your baby’s sleep problem isn’t as extreme as mine was but for reference, if my child who was as bad at sleeping as he was could be helped then its highly likely that your baby will take less time to achieve the same results or perhaps even just breeze through from the stressful right into the restful stage!
I didn’t realize at the time when I was wrapped up in the brain drain that my sleep deprivation was the main factor for my mood shifts, my relationship status and my inability to remain productive. Now that I have made it through that mess and can see clearly, I realize now that I was actually doing a massive disservice to my baby by not having properly taught him how to sleep. He needed to learn how to regulate his sleep so that I could have my own! Because I hadn’t learned properly earlier on, he was a frustrated baby and I was a tired parent and subsequently a partly there mom.
No sweet baby deserves having a momma who is functioning at less than her best due to exhaustion. You owe it to your little loved one, your partner, your kids and to yourself to get the help you need.
If you are still not convinced, here's something incredibly interesting:
Sleep is important for Memory Consolidation, Brain "Cleaning", Creating Connections, Emotion Regulating, Attention, Concentration and Impulse control, Learning and Academic Success, Judgement, Behavior, Physical Health, Physical Growth & Repair, Weight Control and Energy & Well-being.
This goes for children and adults alike.
There is no need to suffer anymore! If you are currently having trouble with your baby’s sleep or lack thereof, there is help! This struggle won’t last forever!
I have completely transformed my health, vitality, my mind, my relationship with my husband and most importantly, I’ve become a better mom. I am happy and I feel alive and like myself again! I feel fulfilled and rested finally and my Brayden is absolutely flourishing! I wouldn’t be here to explain my story if it hadn’t been for Baby Sleep Miracle.
I wouldn’t second guess taking a read for yourself if you are currently struggling with your baby’s sleep. It truly is a life altering investment.
